Al Roker Versus the Doors on His Tesla, Part Two

In the annals of man versus machine, there are some obvious classics: Icarus. John Henry. The Luddite rebellion. The Luddite Rebellion, Part II: The Kids Are Alright. That whole chapter on chess. Now here’s a fresh entry to add to the canon: Al Roker, beloved weatherman, versus his Tesla’s doors (or, if you prefer a different kind of adversarial matchup, Tesla versus Page Six, which keeps reporting Roker’s automobile woes).

The first incident of this man versus machine was quite frightening. In November, life-threatening blood clots traveled to the longtime Today weatherman’s lungs and he was rushed to the hospital. His wife, ABC News broadcaster Deborah Roberts, tried to follow behind in their Model X, but its so-called falcon doors wouldn’t open, sources told Page Six at the time. Her phone was reportedly locked inside, and she considered breaking the windows, but ultimately gave up and took a cab to the hospital. In olden times, this would be called “getting locked out” or “locking your keys in the car,” and you would call AAA. A savior would come pop the lock with some incredible technology, like a wire hanger. Surely, there’s a Tesla equivalent to the wire hanger, but it was an emergency situation. Roberts couldn’t wait. 

Roker recovered, and he and Roberts must have gotten those doors to open eventually because here’s a slightly sillier scene, a palate cleanser, a slapstick Muskian romp. Roker and Roberts took the Tesla to dine with friends at the chichi Mark’s Off Madison. After brunching, a Page Six source observed what the outlet calls a “full-scale battle…on the streets of New York.” It’s Gangs of New York except on one side, it’s a Tesla-pilled weatherman, and, on the other, it’s doors! 

Roker sat in the car trying “everything he could think of” to get the gull-wing doors on the Model X to close, so he and his wife could continue their nice Sunday, and nothing. He eventually manually closed them, a decidedly unfuturistic effort. “A source close to Roker” told Page Six a piece of cardboard was blocking a crucial sensor. 

So, sure, “doors that won’t close so good and sometimes doors that close too good” doesn’t quite have the poetic justice of Icarus, but it does seem really, really annoying.